Friday, August 30, 2013

Tired Out

     Our little Hazelnut has recovered so nicely from surgery and is completely off of her pain medications!  She sits up in bed on her own, climbs onto a chair, takes walks, jumps and has been dancing! God has truly blessed us... That being said, this last round of Chemo has been a little rough on her tiny little body.  After 5 rounds of grueling drugs and a major surgery, I think her body has had enough of this Chemo.  Wednesday night, she spent the whole night whimpering and telling me "I don't feel good".  She even told me to come sleep with her in her bed and asked me to rub her back. Although it as been so difficult to watch her feel this way and not be able to fix it, I LOVE being able to be the one she turns to for comfort.  Especially since the few days after her surgery, she wanted nothing to do with me!  I think she was mad at me because I have to be the one to tell her she must go through all of the poking, prodding and uncomfortable procedures.  She was probably pretty tired of me too, since I'm always around!  After rubbing her back and trying to get her to relax a bit by rubbing some essential oils on her and doing some aromatherapy, she ended up vomiting a few times and her tummy has been gurgling quite fiercely, accompanied with some diarrhea (sorry if that's too much information!).  She isn't eating much and between her spurts of energy, just wants to cuddle up in bed a watch a movie.
     Last night was a much better night though.  One of the 3 Chemotherapy drugs that she has to be on during this cycle, Cytoxan, was not included in the cocktail because it was only a two day dose, while the others were 3 days.  Once this one was removed, she has been feeling a lot better.  She slept the whole night, only waking up when they have to come in to take her vital signs.  She still wanted me to sleep with her, so we stayed up until about 11:30pm chatting away and praying that God will continue to heal her body and help the Chemo do it's job in taking her Neuroblastoma away.  Each time we pray, she keeps thanking Dr. Bliss for taking the tumor out and it just melts my heart!  When she's older, I can explain to her how it was an extremely skilled team of people who worked for hours and hours to complete her surgery and that she can be thankful for each and every one of them.  Although her spirits are so much higher today, she is still pretty tired out and not eating much, so I know that she is ready to be done.  I know I am ready for it to be done. Thank goodness tonight is the very last round. The chemo should be done around 10:00pm tonight and the doctors say that we can go home tomorrow morning!  I think being home will be so much better for her appetite and her spirits, so I cannot wait!


  1. I can only imagine what you, your family, and most importantly little hazelnut has been through. My heart just breaks that any child should have to go through this, so young, not understanding what is going on, and going through the pain... and you, going through the fear. I pray that her body heals soon and she can be on her way to more joyful childhood activities!! Sometimes I don't feel I could be strong enough to go through something like this... but you don't have a choice. You have to. For them. Hang in there!!

  2. Hugs! Praying for that ucky thing is gone for good!

  3. Prayers, hugs, and kisses. XOXOXOXOXO

  4. Danielle HendersonAugust 30, 2013 at 6:10 PM

    I can tell you, from having experienced going through surgery as a young kid, that the pain makes you quite cranky, and the pain meds can make you a little irritable! Don't worry, it's not you! Coming out of anesthesia can be particularly difficult and I remember waking up and screaming at everyone to not touch me... and another time I woke up and immediately started sobbing because I thought they were all mad at me. Pain meds are still drugs, and on a tiny body, they can cause some interesting emotional responses!

  5. Don't worry about what you post, we love hear bout Hazel. I to think she will be better home, her little body has been though alot. I will keep praying for her and the family. STAY STRONG PRAY HARD

  6. Hang in there! :::Prayers:::love:::kisses:::thoughts:::♥♡

  7. always praying for little Hazel she makes my heart happy! she is such a warrior!!

  8. I hope Hazel feels better very soon! I am keeping her in my prayers!

  9. Dear Lauren,

    Today I was reading in John about after Jesus fed the crowds with the little boys lunch, He could see that the crowds were going to try to come get him and make Him king, so he went up into the hills. The disciples were waiting for him so long that they finally decided to get in their boat and cross the lake to Capernaum. After they are out for a while on the lake, a big wind kicks up and they fear for their lives, but they look up and see Jesus walking to them on the water and said to them..."I am here! Don't be afraid!", and as soon as he got on the boat, they were immediatley at their destination. This isn't one of the miracles that you hear of much, but Wow!! God can take you from your your goal just like that! If you look back at all you faced coming in to this situation with Hazle and all the steps you had mapped out for you....Wow!! But God is in your boat.....the end is in sight! Always invite God into your daily boat, as I am determined to do. I just wanted to encourage you with this. I pray daily for your Hazle love! Your sister in Christ, Linda

  10. prayers from Hulett Wyoming. You go girl!!

  11. Thank you so much for sharing your story and updates with us!!!! You have touched my heart in an incredibly inspiring manner. I know that the Lord, lives through/throughout each one of you. God bless you in ways you can't even imagine, and in ways that you dream possible. I pray for complete healing of this illness, and freedom from any disease. I pray that you find a night's rest free from fear and worry about what tomorrow brings. Your daughter is truly a beauty, and has touched my life. Thanks- Veronica A.

  12. What an encouraging word Linda - thank you. It is so true and something all of us need to hang on to. Continuing to pray that our Lord will hold you all in His mighty hands and bring you rest and strength as Hazel's precious little body is healed. Blessings Edwina

  13. God bless you and your family. You all are in my prayers!

  14. Lauren, Hazel and family - I just can't pray enough for you all and
    also am anxious for you to be home. Our little girl has been so
    very strong and brave and God is healing her now. Everyone needs
    comforting - breaks our hearts but sending you strength, energy and always God's arms wrapped around you - Hugs, prayers and love, Linda

  15. sending our love from Ecuador... even wore our Hope For Hazel bracelets on the Amazon jungle. We cant wait to visit upon our return!
    jacque and justin

  16. I am thankful for this update. We always keep your little girl in our prayers. I am sure that my students will be glad to hear that she is also recovering. More prayers promised.

  17. Oh Dear sweet Hazel. You are such a brave little darling girl. Our heart and love go out to you and the countless others going through similar procedures.

    Thank you for your update. You have thousands of followers who are praying and watching for updates. I find it so amazing that with all of what you're going through that you make time to update those such as myself.

    I've written a poem in honor of Hazel, and for all of the families and patients going through this harrowing procedure. I wrote it the day she went into surgery. It just pulled at my heart and it came flowing out along with my tears as I prayed.

    I've included it here for you to read. May God continue to uphold you with His righteous hands and bathe you continuously with His love and peace.

    May Hazel proceed to better days of endless joy, love and happiness, and a clean bill of health forever more.

    Blessings in His precious name,


    Our Greatest Physician
    by C D Swanson

    Prayers go up to the Lord
    for the little girl to be
    rid of the giant monster

    Her smile is stunning
    her giggles musical
    as she sings a song

    She fights without fear
    proud of the pink star
    on her shiny bald head

    Her mother clings to faith
    her knees ache while she
    cries out to her Father

    The monster lives in
    the child’s intestines now
    smaller from the poison

    The mother holds her child’s
    black and blue tiny hand
    tears roll down mom's face

    She watches her child being
    wheeled into the operating room
    to remove the monster's roots

    She holds her breath and
    drops to the ground
    crying--God we need Your help

    The hours are interminable
    she can hardly see or breathe
    as she awaits word or news

    Her faith solid and anchored
    in His love and healing hands
    during the entire ordeal

    Her breath is rapid and labored
    she can hardly move or blink
    completely numbed with fatigue

    A penetrating beautiful warmth
    overtakes her body fully
    from her head to her toes

    The chapel doors swing open
    a bright light shines as
    footsteps approach from behind

    Your daughter's operation
    was a huge success we got the
    entire tumor she did fine

    Praise you God for slaying
    the monster and saving my child
    tears fell as she slowly exhaled…


    "To God all the victory and glory and power forever. Amen & Amen."

  18. I am praying this morning for little Hazel…I pray that she is feeling better and is able to eat and grow stronger every minute. She has touched so many people. God is smiling on her and I pray she is able to smile back today! God Bless you all!