Round #2

    This week Hazelnut completed Round #2 of her Chemotherapy!  I never imagined a life with these kinds of victories, but here we are...  
    Each day we were scheduled to arrive at CHLA for outpatient treatment at 7:30 in the morning.  So we decided that Hazel and I would stay the nights at the Ronald McDonald House that is just down the street from the hospital.  When I could, I would come home to spend the afternoons with the family, but sleeping out there made it so much easier on the two of us, and ended up being such a blessing!  The facility itself was great and had all the amenities needed for us to feel at home.  We met several families to support us through the week, including a little baby named Hazel!  We were able to sleep longer than we would have been able to at home and then walk over to the hospital.  Hazel really liked this place and kept calling it "Old McDonald's House"!        
     On Monday, Hazel was first scheduled for surgery to remove her PICC line and place a Central Venous Line (a.k.a. a Pheresis Catheter).  The procedure went very well, but coming out of anesthesia was tough for her.  In fact, she was absolutely pissed!  She was screaming in anger in a way I have never heard before, and wanted nothing to do with anyone for a good half hour!  Once finally calm, we took a ride on a wheelchair (which she calls a stroller) over to the infusion center to start her Chemo.  
    Before all of this started, I really didn't know what Chemo was going to be like and how it would affect my daughter.  I mean, I had certain preconceived ideas, but really just didn't know what to expect for Hazel specifically.  These first two cycles have really surprised me though.  While receiving her treatments, I would watch her behave like her normal, spunky self; being playful, walking around, chatting up the nurses and seeming absolutely unaffected.  Elizabeth even got to spend one of the days with us! I would think to myself "Is this girl really getting Chemo?"  I feel like God has blessed us so tremendously by allowing these cycles to go so smoothly.  I think that it has made this difficult transition into the world of cancer a lot easier on everyone.  I want to stay mindful, though, that it won't necessarily always be like this.  I want to prepare myself for the inevitable struggles that Hazel will face during treatment, so I can be ready to help her and comfort her through it all.
     Here are a few pictures of her during treatment:

 

 

     Even though my little Hazelnut was able to bring joy to all of us around her, Aaron and I felt this constant undercurrent of grief.  This is stemming mostly from us still trying to cope with our new reality, our family having to spend so much time apart, and watching our children struggle through this with us (I'm sure there are many other things I just haven't been able to sort through yet, but I'm just facing all of this one moment at a time).  It was especially hard on Elizabeth and Micah this week.  Please pray for them to feel God's strength rising up within them and to feel His comforting embrace around them.  And continue to pray for all of us to remember His promises : Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"   2 Corinthians 1:3-5 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us all in our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ."
    Now this weekend, we have all been together as a family and we have just been savoring every moment.  Assuming Hazel does not spike another fever (please pray for that!), we will have a whole week together; until next Tuesday when she will have to go back to CHLA for a few days(outpatient), to have her stem cells collected.  These will then be frozen until it is time to give them back to her during a stem cell transplant!  So please keep praying fervently, and we will update again soon.  Thank you all!

**FOR MORE WAYS TO HELP, LOG IN TO OUR NEW WEBSITE HERE TO SERVE AND CLICK ON THE PARTICIPATE/VOLUNTEER BUTTON**

    

Updated Ways to Help

   First let me say thank you for all your love and prayers and for continuing to stay in touch with our little Hazelnut's condition and chemo progress.  We are blessed that Hazel is tolerating the chemo treatments well so far...  I also wanted to let you know that we have recently set up a new website where you can follow everything that is happening with Hazel and our family. It is called http://www.heretoserve.org/.  This is a nonprofit organization that helps us better organize our communication to our friends and family and share some areas where you can choose to help.  

     On the home page of the Here to Serve website there is a red Participate/Volunteer button for you to register on Hazel's care community.  Once you fill out the form you will be given the URL to Hazel's website where you can log in and keep tabs on what is going on.  We will keep updates on Hazel posted there and as a community member you will receive an email with that update once it has been posted without having to go on the site.  There is also a master calendar where you can sign up to provide meals, do playdates, offer babysitting, etc...  You will also find a link to this blog, so you can access it from there.  So, please join Hazel's Care Community on the Here to Serve site and "like" Here to Serve on Facebook and we will be able to keep you appraised of everything you may wish to know about our little Hazelnut and our family!

Haircut Party!

     Hazel's hair has been coming out so much, that it actually has been driving her crazy!  It's been getting in her mouth, eyes, hands and all over everywhere.  She was absolutely miserable.  So Aaron and I decided to ease her suffering and giver her a haircut.  This step was very tough for me, but I know that I needed to let go and let my little girl be comfortable.  And over the last few days, Aaron and I have actually realized how much emphasis we have been putting on outer beauty with our daughters, and how this haircut will be a good thing for us.  We can now make the conscious choice to talk to our kids about where true beauty dwells.  The bible says in 1 Peter 3:3-4 "Your adornment must not be merely external---braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."  
     I feel like God has truly been refining my heart so much these past weeks and revealing Himself in a way that I never anticipated.  He has been orchestrating everything and I have been seeing His fingerprints all over, which is such an encouragement during this time.  For example, we met a young girl named Demie during our stay at the hospital (she was the young girl with Hazel in one of the photos in the last post).  She had such an uplifting and cheerful spirit and really took Hazel under her wing.  Every free moment these girls had was spent with each other, and Hazel absolutely adores her!  On top of that, my other kids came to visit Hazel, and Demie happened to be playing with us at the time.  At first I could tell they were unsure about her; and Elizabeth even exclaimed, "Mom, she's bald!", for everyone to hear.  But after getting to know her, they all became fast friends.  I truly believed this eased the fears Micah and Elizabeth had about their sister losing her hair; and when we explained the upcoming haircut to Hazel, we told her she could look just like Demie!  Once she understood that, she became so excited at this prospect!  And now she tells everyone, "I look like Demie!"
    When the time came to take the plunge, Aaron decided to shave his head first, to show Hazel it was safe, and even a little fun.  He let all the kids take a turn shaving, which they all enjoyed.  Then it was Hazel's turn, and she did great!  Aaron took his time and she kept saying how much it tickled.  Then Micah (bless his little heart) told me that he didn't want his sister to feel left out and that he should shave his hair too.  So off it went!  Elizabeth also said, " I want to be bald!  Really bad!"  But I told her I could only handle one of my daughters being bald at a time, but maybe she and I could go and get short haircuts together.  She relented at the moment, but has continued asking to be bald, everyday!  She has just melted my heart!  Here are a few pictures from the party...Hope you enjoy!

A Different Week

    We have been home from our second trip to the hospital for a full 24 hours now, and all I can think about is how joyful this past week was.  This is mostly the reason why I have not posted anything on the blog.  We have just been so busy enjoying our little Hazelnut and soaking up the time we have finally had together as a whole family unit!  But let me thank you for your continued prayer an support, especially for the other children.  The conversations we have been having are going extremely well, and they all seem to be adapting and showing resilience in ways that I never expected!  God is so good!  Now for the updates:

     What we thought would be a 48 hour stay at the hospital, became a 6 day endeavor.  And although it was terribly hard to be away from the family, this week turned out to be such a blessing!  This was an entirely different hospital visit than the weeks previously. During our first encounter with the oncology floor, we saw a little girl struggling in pain, drifting in and out of sleep, fighting fevers, being diagnosed with cancer, undergoing surgery, receiving all types of new medications and a round of chemo, refusing food/drink, and only getting out of bed twice in 11 days.  This was absolutely excruciating.  But this past week saw a completely different girl!  I felt like I had my little Hazelnut back!  She was hardly ever in bed, running through the halls, eating several meals a day, spending hours in the oncology floor's playroom, making tons of new friends and had all of us (nurses, friends, family, etc...) in stitches!  We had to stay so much longer than anticipated because her blood counts were not high enough for them to allow us to return home, and they took a while to reach the numbers they needed to be at.  Here are a few pictures:

     That being said, this week did come with it's challenges.  First, Hazel began losing her hair.  We knew that this was coming, but it was, nonetheless, hard to see.  Second, Aaron had a adjust to a new normal, holding down the fort at home, while still going to work for several hours in the day.  He had to get 3 kids dressed, ready and out the door by 7:30 AM; and then drop Micah off at school and the other kids at a grandparent's house.  Then after working hard for several hours, he had to pick up the kids, make sure they were fed, spend some quality time together(trying to keep a sense of normalcy), talk to Hazel and I on a video chat, then get everybody in bed!  What a day for him!  I know how stressful this must be for him, so please keep him in your prayers so that he may feel the Lord lifting him up and guiding him through each of these kinds of days.  Let me say this though: I HAVE AN AMAZING HUSBAND!!!  I thought I knew how blessed I was before, but seeing the leader of our family step up the way that he has, has just blown me away.  I adore you Aaron, our children are so blessed to have you as a father, and I am so excited for the day when they can look back on this time and truly appreciate your sacrifice, love and devotion for them.  Lastly, this week made Aaron and I realize that we will be spending a tremendous amount of time apart.  We spent several day mourning the loss of the way our family used to function and realizing how much we took for granted.  Monday night, for the first time in weeks, our whole family sat around the table for dinner; and this was the greatest gift of all.  So please, hold your family close, and savor those everyday moments in a way we wished we had.  
    Next week Hazel will begin her next round of Chemo, will be facing a small surgery to place a new line in her chest (similar to the PICC line she now has in her arm), and will be doing all of this outpatient (assuming she handles it well). That means, in between treatments, we will be coming home!!  We don't quite know how to navigate this next week, so pray specifically for God to guide us through it and for everything to run smoothly.  Thank you all again for your prayer and support! I can't wait to share, in an upcoming post, how much it has truly affected and blessed us!



     

Blood Donations

     Thanks to my Aunt Laura, I now have some more information on the blood donation.  Here is what she sent me:

Blood Donation Information

Children’s Hospital LA

4650 West Sunset Blvd

Los Angeles, CA

323-660-2450 (Main Telephone Number)

Make Appointment for Blood Donation (323)361-2441

Blood Lab Hours

Monday – Platelets Donations Only

Tuesday – Friday 7:30 – 3:30 pm

Saturday 7:30 am – 1:30 pm

*They can take Platelet donations any day, it is best to make an appointment. While at the appointment, simply write Hazel Hammersley at the bottom of the application so that she will get the credit.

Hazel’s Blood Type is A+

Blood Donors - She can only receive blood from donors with A+, blood drawn from other blood types will be used for other needy children. You can donate blood every 2 months. They can hold blood for Hazel up to 32 days, after that it will be used for another patient.

Platelet Donors  Hazel can take Platelets from any blood type, but it is not a guarantee that Hazel can accept it. Platelet donation takes a minimum of 2 hours, they have to make sure your veins are strong enough to withstand the donation. However, the Platelet donation seems to be easier to tolerate and you can donate weekly if needed.

Ex: Laura is a good candidate for Platelet donation because I have a rare blood type that is not common for young children. Therefore, it would be best if I try to make a Platelet donation.

***According to the nurse there is a critically ill child right now with a very rare blood type, they are looking for Platelet donors if anyone is available.***

Road Bumps

      Monday we were discharged from the hospital, and we were all so happy to finally be home!  Hazel was so glad to see her siblings, drink from her own cup, eat her own food and sleep in her own bed!  On Tuesday, I was on the phone constantly with insurance companies, pharmacies, the hospital, and the like, just trying to figure out the logistics of the coming months.  We also met our in home care nurse who will be coming to us twice a week to draw Hazel's blood and change the dressings on her PICC line, which will save us from driving down to the hospital to do it; so praise God for that!  But we've hit a couple of road bumps, and I get the feeling that this is what the next couple of years are going to be like.  No planning and a lot of "flying by the seat of our pants!" 
     First, poor little Hazelnut has developed a terrible rash all over her back, bottom and scalp.  We have tried everything to relieve it, but she is absolutely miserable.  The doctor suspects that she is having a reaction to one of the medications that she is on, so we are going to try something different to see if that helps.  Second, after having a follow-up appointment with her oncologist her at the hospital this morning, Hazel needed a blood transfusion due to her counts being extremely low (this is very routine, and is why donating blood is a big help).  While with the doctor, her vitals looked great, but in the 5 minutes it took to walk from the doctors to the Infusion Center, Hazel spiked a fever and her blood pressure went through the roof.  Fever=admission to the hospital.  So here we sit (Hazel and I), back in the same room on the 4th floor, trying to relieve her rash and fever, and waiting for her blood culture results to tell us if she has an infection.  This will take at least 48 hours...
     Please pray for God to give all of us the ability and stamina to adjust to the craziness that is becoming our new normal.  And please continue to pray for Hazel to stay in good health throughout her treatment, so that she can have the strength to really fight this thing!

ISAIAH 41:10- "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am you God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."  May these word resonate within all of us...
     

MIBG Results

**MIBG RESULTS ARE NEGATIVE!!! NO SIGNS OF SPREADING!!!**

     We are so overwhelmed by these results and know that God has His hand in all of this.  We thank you for your prayers and ask you to keep on praying for our little Hazelnut as she goes through the fight of her life.  The doctors may even let us return home tonight!  I can't wait to go home, but in all honesty I am absolutely terrified.  So please pray that God will give me His supernatural strength and resolve to get through each day and that He may protect her fragile immune system as we venture out into the germ infested world.  Here we go...