Pray for Healing

*** DAY +12 POST TRANSPLANT ***

     Aaron, Hazel's Daddy came for a visit yesterday, and he brought out the first smiles I have seen from our little Hazelnut in over a week.  It was so wonderful to see!  She was still pretty tired and unwell, but we had quite a few moments where we saw her spunk shining through.  She played for a little while and spent some time just being silly, and it was absolutely glorious. I savored that moment because these last few days have been exhausting!  Hazel is not sleeping very well at night, which means I am not either.  So we have two tired ladies trying to navigate this world of transplant.  I think we both are done with it!  Today, her smiles have faded, she does not want to get out of bed, and just looks all around bummed out.  The GCSF serum that is used to boost her white counts can make her feel achy and have bone and joint pain, and since her counts are up, they are discontinuing it.  So hopefully she will be in better spirits tomorrow. Although her counts have been absolutely outstanding (praise God!) and her mouth is looking better, she still seems quite uncomfortable.  I have tried to get her to eat and drink, but she says it is too painful.  I am sure that it still doesn't feel good, but I think it has now become an anxiety issue.  Because she has been in so much pain over the last week, she is now terrified to swallow anything.  This even includes her own saliva, which keeps pooling in her mouth and she is drooling like nobody's business.  The mucous is no longer as thick and she is no longer gagging on it, so her sores are getting better, but we are not quite there yet.  She also seems afraid to urinate and pass a bowel movement, so it's yet another thing for us try and treat and to be worried about.  They tested her urine for any signs of infection, but thankfully it all came back negative!  She has been complaining that her tummy hurts quite a lot, which I assumed was from the mucousitis; but today she said her tummy had "too much" in it.  So I asked the doctor if the IV nutrition (TPN) that she has been receiving can make her feel uncomfortably full, and they said it is definitely a possibility.  So they are lowering her dose of TPN and I hope she may feel a bit better and will want to start eating something again.  With her counts being as high as they are, the doctors advised that we start weaning her off of the TPN and morphine with the hopes to slowly get her back to normal.  If this can all happen successfully, we may be heading home early next week!  Please pray for this to happen and please pray for healing.  It has been so hard to see my quirky, energetic, silly and joyful girl be so down and out.  I don't want to see my baby hurting anymore!  And I have not seen my other children since October 2nd and am yearning for their hugs!