In The Thick Of It

*** DAY +6  POST TRANSPLANT**

     The day that I have been dreading has arrived.  Our little Hazelnut is miserable.  Her blood counts are down to nothing, and we are just waiting for them to rise.  The mucositis has produced such painful sores that have traveled through her digestive track.  And it also produces an excess of thick mucous that continues to make her gag and eventually vomit.  Thankfully, she is no longer nauseous, but she still hasn't eaten for days.  We are also battling a fever that has reached up to 103, but it has been extremely difficult for her to take the oral dose of Tylenol she needs.  It is so painful for her.  I asked if there is an IV form available and the doctor told me that there is, but it's very expensive so they avoid it at all cost.  So they torture kids to inject medications that cause them extreme amounts of pain to save a buck (can you tell this bothers me a little?).  In addition to the normal hydration flowing in through her central line, she is now on IV nutrition, a cocktail of different antibiotics to combat a possible infection that the fever may be indicating, anti-nausea meds, benadryl to prevent an allergic reaction to one of the antibiotics and a continuos pump of morphine, which has finally allowed her to rest a comfortably as possible.  She is no longer crying out in pain with the help from the morphine, but she is obviously quite unwell.  She has spent the last two days laying in bed, drifting in and out of sleep and is barely speaking because it hurts too much.  Needless to say, these last couple of days have been extremely difficult.

     But, in true Hazel fashion, she is amazing me with her ability to cope and adapt to such a terrible situation.  She still finds things to smile at, and allows all of us to poke and prod her because, ultimately, she knows we are trying to do what we can to help her.  She has been able to communicate very well to me and tells me when there is something that she needs.  The doctors say for the kind of pain she is most likely in, she is doing extremely well and that it should hopefully only last for a few more days.  WE CAN DO THIS! OUR GOD CAN CARRY US THROUGH!

     I am so thankful for all of your prayers and have received many messages with bible verses to encourage me during this time; and it has helped so much. I feel lifted up by your prayers and God has kept me from falling into the darkness of despair.  Without Him and without you, I know I could not be getting through this as well as I am.  So please, keep them coming!

Deuteronomy 33:26-27  "There is none like God, O Jeshurun, who rides through the heavens to your help, through the skies in his majesty. The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms."